im in immense emotional pain
thing is...
why?
it was,n has always been, a silly crush
but y is this feelin bombardin
my everywhere
inside n out

was in the shower when i started thinkin of hw he acted yesterday..i'll neva forget the way he acted
he was juz....blank..like the world cuz juz pass him by n he is oblivious to it...
he didnt look anywhere..juz infront..blank as usual
he didnt speak
at times he look like he didnt blink at all
he was juz BLANK

i feel so low
im weakened frm depression
the entire day was spent on cryin silently in the bedrme
attemptin to study but cried even more
cried till i feel asleep
ive lost my appitite alrdy
that's nt so bad
but its good to know that i dun use suicide
even though i still think about it

talkin to sam n tracy really help
but still
its the immense emotional torture
still lingerin in my soul
like a scar frm the time u fell down

'u some how find
you and i
collide' -howie day 'collide'

smiling as become a chore once again
laughter must b forced out

since he acts this way
no point going bck anymore
i dont really like antioch as much as i did b4
those were juz memories
like those i had wen walkin to church frm the mrt
how happy we were talkin away in december
memories
how i wish they would burn up

i hate u
yet
i still love u

but it juz a silly crush
we haf to move on...rite?