this fucking sucks major ass cracks an chicken dumplings
im dead down..i dunno why im only good around gabe and then moping about the place...nothin seems to work..
it was all about yesterday..
well about today

PASSED MY MALAY!!! min 30marks over 50..booyah..nuh uh...its la shiiiiiiiiiibuya!!!!!! ahahaha
tai's coming along with the headliners eg MXPX,gym class,cobra starship,a7x...so 150 bucks juz to watch tai...gonna have to rethink it...amanda says no go..kinda agree with her reasons...

bah..em still hasnt told me if im in or nt...5 more days till the show and i need the stuff if the final decision is in my favour.

i cant get HIM outta my head..nor the fact that ville's so torn..how it breaks my heart..

sigh
today...got to school at 9.45am..1hr and 15mins earlier than my supposed start of school time..met gabe who wasnt too good and didnt exactly help with the mood of the day setting..made me feel worse..so i moped to lt after shit happened...

kelyn mistook the timings of lecture by an hour short so i was alone for like an hour in lt revising malay like this insane half hearted kid with green and purple eyeliner and her trusty grey fuzzy jacket instead of payin attention..mp3s are a gift from god..they truly are.,.

alethea made evrything better..she was so nice to allow me to join her in our 1 hr conquest to cram cram cram malay for the oral test..her friends are really nice...I KNOW WHO LIKES HER!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS SOMEONE EVERYONE LOVES AHAHAH!!!!

well went first for the malay thing and became the magaphone for the whole malay class thingum..gave everyone hints on what to focus..i forogt alot of stuff but managed to secure 30marks..im happy ahah but nt happy enough..

whats a padywack?? hmmm...tai's coming down..wheee..when will HIM come down?? never? yeah..when will ville get better?? when will i feel lighter?? bah..

my heart's a graveyard baby
and in evil we make love
on our passion's killing floor
in my arms you wont sleep safely
and in lust we are reborn
in our passion's killing floor. - H.I.M, passion's killing floor

venus doom..out aug 2007

k so a month back i was like hours away from grabbin the suitcases and flying off to italy on a 1am flight..now im back and instead of being so much more relaxed..i started the very first day back rushing through my critical thinking assignment that was due the next day [monday]..beautiful right?? not..try working from like 9am to 9 pm without nappin and suffering form jet lag..not a happy feeling..

so now a month later..[i'll tell u guys how italy was anth day cuz its too much to cram]..im still rushing thru malay,trying to memorize stuff for my oral exam tmr..ive got projects almost every other day..life is not pretty..im always rushing...bioscience pract test this coming friday..that im slightly calmer..

im posted to AH..no..not AH! but A.H [alexandra hospital] for clinical attachment..we ordered out uniforms already..and boy do i look weird in it..i had to take a M size cuz S was too short, it had to go over the knee..so im gg to like tighten the dress..get it altered and NOT put on more weight...yeah so come visit me from the 27th of aug to 14 sept at A.H ward 4..i wont b very happy but i'll try to smile with vomit on my hands..

praying i dont get the night shift..A.H+ night shift= SAAAAAAVE MEEE!~~~~
em asked me if i wanted to play wth their band te next 2 coming sundays...ive agreed but when i ask for the tabs and guitar he tells me wait so...wtf..am i in or not..i hate it when ppl give me false hope..

esther told me via phone when i agreed to the band playing thing that im kinda dead and shit..what can i say..i am dead and shity feeling now adays...cynical i'd put it..but a cynic in love...interesting isnt it..i find it amusing..

venus doom,HIM's new album, will be out soonish..aug..its soonish...but after watching the interview..i mean yeah i knew ville was dead down about the enganement break and the friend dying but..he had the life zapped outta him..the way he touched on the other band member;s family and how he hated home,finland, which he missed while on tour..he kept saying thatg he's a struggling poet and all thaty what not...im juz afraid..will he take his life...i hope not..no no..he wont

kelyn wants to form a band..we've got her bf on bass and her friend, lock, on drums..problem..they both dunno how to play the respective instruments...so how do we start now? we cant..

teenage icon..nobody came to support me..i had only gabe in the crowd..the pazzaze of the stage was gone and i dreaded going on..there were CROWDS for the other contestants...i had one..and when i came on..nobody screamed..juz faint claps..it was juz me..the rest had 2 or 3 friends...i had no screams no claps...so no life and no..i didnt get in..then ppl around me..tell me i should change the way i sing..but look...your technique's wrong..im nt going to throat sing or what u call projection..i dont shout..i sing..and to u i cant so i guess i cant be a lead..ppl lie and ive been living one for a good 4 yrs..im a back up..mayb not..

if i cant sing..i'll do rhythm guitar..and that fails??? nursing..that fails too?? bookshop work for me then

talent less...thats what i am...no do u know why im so down..now u know why im so quiet and dead...
im talentless and i cant master languages...i suck at arts and im not book or street smart..what am i then