so teenage icon audition day today,not good but i'll only know the results on the 5th...i think thats like the stupidest thing ever.
and they were not listening to my singing.it was all style for them. i wore a TBS shirt,grey and black scarf around my neck and my jeans skirt.

today i felt the full blow on how dead irritating the scene here is. they said singing competition. NOT A FASHION SHOW!!!

in the criteria overall appearence came BEFORE diction and intonation.fucking bastards.
after that we went to watch the j-rock competition at youth park then moved to the stage juz outside cine where the coolest all malay guy band wad playing.
i tell u...moving on stage is dead important.

they were moving man and the j-rock bands wernt and i was dead bored with the j-rockers cuz there was so much low activity on stage that staring at my hp was so much more interesting.

so the all malay guy band was FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!
oh and i found out that i attract ATTATCHED malay guys..not the single ones..k only a few but yeah.. liek ystdy on the train home with gabe this hot malay guy kept staring at me...i was like OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! and he was hot ahahah..got off at city hall while we got off at raffles..had long john and now im like 54kg like yuck much bah so bah..

yup
XD
wish me luck!!

wads the point of having a hot bod and a prety face when you're not one bit eloquent. sheesh.what a waste.yeah so bah.

anw tmr's my foundations of nursing lecture and no im nt prepared..kinda sucks and scared and ARGH!!! but the show must go one!!! im running on queen music fuel and green tea...
feeling like an empty shell in school nowadays..i juz wanna be alone and i will be..thank god for the break and during that time, i'll be in italy enjoying myself and not caring about what lies here in this wretched land of bullshits.

yes i hate this place..alot and i wanna get outta here asap.
anw yeah i hate me now..and everything now.i thought i had a fresh starts. no i dont.
its fucking high school now.fucking bullshit now. fucking break me down now before i bury myself 6ft under.

its all the way to the bottom of the bottomest pit.yeah i did it to myself.and if thats who u think i am then be it.let me say what i wanna say dont comment. oh how i felt those hands around my neck pulling tighter till the air left me for a goood hour.

misery business is a great song. i love it. recording it now on my mp3 cuz i aint got a downloading server.

so yes. im tired. i need to be alone.atleast for now.i see your judgements i know your thoughts but im too tired to fight. everytime i do, it just brings me more fatigue. so whats the point.i'd explain n u wont understand. you wont and i know that for sure.

im tired
im tired
i need rest

anywhere but here.
one day i'll have the opportunity to do the same thing u did to me
but i wont take it
im just too tired

okay. so wad else can i say. my life sucks. unfit, fat,unglam,ugly and always looking like someone else..
but is it bad??
i cant tell now..well
what i wanted to post today was to upload pics and stuff but im in no mood...
wish me luck for my auditions for teenage icon on the 2nd of june

cya guys later

im in one of those moods again
where i frickin hate my life and juz wanna b my friend
why??

well they're...yes now is they meaning more than one..

they're like..skinny, pretty, rich, independent, smart, stylist anf juz damn lucky

they get the good looking guy, pull off even the crappiest of things..
i hate it

im like a frickin failure..i cant even keep up a diet..i'll starve man i dont care..its juz green tea from tmr on i dont care...

i hate being fat and ugly and not being able to catch his eye..i hate it that im 17 nd cant even stay out till past 12..im sick of the fact that i havent had a sleepover and i cant drink till i wake up with that bittersweet hangover..im hating it that im chinese and not caucasian or malay
i wanna b skinny and toned..no time to do so im afraid..

i need to go mad
to save the sanity
and stop this feeling