i miss you.
i miss you so far.
and the collision of your kiss
that made it so hard.

My chemical romance - cemetery drive

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mum is pissed at me for everything i do.pissed at me mainly cuz i didnt get hme on time last nite afta antioch. she didnt even wanna open the door fo me. rang the door bell twice but she didnt open it.nope

juz continued to watch tv and pretend i didnt even exist. yes.this is my family for you. a bunch of hypocrytes.fuckin ass crap.

told bebe that ma mum doesnt allow me to join cuz i get hme late.i dun even wanna go hme. its a prison cell here. no place and time for freedom.

i suggested to bebe,berna and petrina the idea of changing parish ucz st berns is like..fucked up. asked ma mum but she said 'we'll talk about this later' as if its a crime.

everything i do is a crime to her.im nt her daughter,im her maid.wen im out with them,im juz taggin behind,last to do things. like i juz got my chinese new yr clothes.yesterday i was spose to go out with bebe but i didnt n decided to go out with ma family.little did i noe that i was gonna b ignored. all ma mum cared about was about ma sis. everyone just loves her.nobody like the problem child.

i think i really m goin insane. the music helps juz a lil. i even had this thought of doin drugs and smoking.die an early death..better rite?.i cant even control ma body and mind. sometimes i get so damn pissed and i cant think rite and ma body turns hot,cold,hot,cold..on and on and on. or ma arm juz trembles in rage and i start laughin uncontrollably and unknowingly..

now im scarin myself,i turned the tempreture up so high wen i was bathing just now ,just to experience the feeling of ur body being scalded in hot water.during sunday class,i told bebe that i wanted to experience how it is to b burnt by a cigarette bud.

i need medicine. berna says that there's this medication she used to take wen she was younger cuz she had some mentle depression thing. she said that it helped to clear ur mind but the side effects were that u puked.

im not trying to scare u or anything or even plee for attention. nothing of that sort.i tot i was..then i realized... i am going insane..and i cant control my feelings the way i could before...

this is a cry for help...