Saturday, September 26, 2009,
u know why i am acting this way. there's really no need to ask.
when u said stop, i did it.
when i said stop, you went ahead.
why do i want to see my close friends walk straight into the belly of the beast?
why do i want to see you experience the re-awakening of all feelings negative?
when it hurts it hurts. the words you say. and im sure that its all due to external stressors and i know i'm one of them. unnecessary.
but if you're happy i'll just be here on the side and really as long as u are happy...i couldnt care less about me and my overly emotional self.
im sorry to disappoint. im sorry for being a pain. im sorry for sticking my nose into such issues.
this is how much i care.
i do the same for the rest of my pillars and even more for family.
altruism..or so i hope to believe it is.
i'll learn to back down. i need to..my character is far too strong.
just know that..now
in this moment..
when you're soaring high up with her by your side
into the wide blue virgin canopy
look down occasionally, glance down and see
this small lil girl looking up at you with the trampoline
ready to break your fall if you ever do falter.
just remember me.
wont you sing with me
another song of freedom
its all i ever had.
redemption song
11:26 PM
alright! so this week was...rather relaxed which is good!!
monday was a public holiday cuz hari raya fell on a sunday so lenny and i hung out at gwc. watched the ugly truth which is a great show! chick flick yes but funny none the less. then it was off to ion orchard but we didnt stay long cuz the crowd was suffocating and i hated it. so then off to taka then to HMV and then to lenny's.
tuesday lenny had shift (A&E) so i met her after that.
wednesday was out with squid and sab. headed over to marina barrage to fly rainbow kite! [pictures on facebook]. the sun was SCORCHING HOT!! UNFORGIVING!! got sunburns on my face in the shape of my shades, forearms and mid thigh down. i thank god i wore a long sleeve shirt and rolled it up..yes it was black and i did pay for it but forearms better than whole arm sunburn so yesssss happy!!! sab was feeling faint so we headed off to marina square [marina barrage is a smoke-free facility!! fuck!!!] for milkshakes and well deserve fag sessionssss. after that was done i headed off the lenny's where i was manja-ed due to my sunburns. i surprised her by saying i couldnt stay over that night and when she found out she was estatic!! heeee. bought calamol lotion [calamine and menthol all in one for painful itchy sunburns..thanks baby love] and ive been applying it for 3 days now. no peeling so far and the tenderness has vamoooshed.
thursday woke up, had breakfast with lenny at the coffee shop opposite her house and then dropped her off at work. i hated that part. sigh. then i headed home.
then today! home the whole day. woke up at 2.30pm. nice.
tmr i have no idea what's in store for me. its probably along the lines of following mum and dad or heading over to len's. i'll decide later. i have alot of alone time now since lenny's asleep.
my poor love is sick. nose blocked, sore throat, lymph nodes on right side swollen and her left ones are semi swollen and she's running a fever too. sigh my poor baby. tmr she's heading over to the docs so maybe i'll head down.
kinda looking forward to the 1 month attachments starting next week. excited yet dreading it but i know it'll pass real fast since we're back in the ward system. means back to routine! something im comfortable with but not too happy about. i feel useful but with the cloud of 'student nurse' looming over me, i feel kinda mentally challenged too. ah well nothing new.
next week the dread comes from something else. something personal that i dont wanna talk about. we're prepared, i am too. i just worry for u love. just be safe. i love you.
1:05 AM
Sunday, September 20, 2009,
THE FULL HANNAH BILILIE POST!!
[why? CUZ SHE'S HOT!!]
6:57 PM
this blog of mine has been collecting cobwebs and dust bunnies. but no one cares. including myself.
mayb its time i get a new blog eh?
or a new blog skin. or make one. or proscrastinate getting or making one.
ah well whatever. i dont give a flying fucktard's ass
alright its september, the last academic year of your lives in NYP is over. long gone poof! out the window.
attachements have commenced and i want to cry.
nothing new. same old same old.
ED and OT at AH were fun. well OT had the dread of inhaling the fumes of the diathermy machine.
i like the describe it as Eau de burning hair and tar. exquisite.
ED was fun, i kinda knew that 2 certain someones would fall deeply in love but never would i have expected both to acctually get together.
anyway, what ever it is. good luck to u both.
so last week, met this crappy ass girlie names squid. i call her sotong but whatever, no one cares.
we've been hanging out alot lately with gek and i am proud to say that now i have my 4 pillars of strength. no longer 5 cuz..well...i dont think that 5th one fits the bill.
this week, monday and tuesday is with lenny, wednesday is with squid and sab maybe grace too, thurs and friday im free...ANY TAKERS?!?!
OH OH!!! OMG IM OBSESSED WITH HANNAH BILILIE FROM GOSSIP!!! SHE'S SO FUCKING HOT!!!
there are so many things i wish i could tell u guys here. but there are many spies.
just know that i love you, i wish you were mine. i really do miss u.
OKAY PICTURE TIME!! cuz my blog is boring as we all know it..
collage i did with shutterfly: 3 of my 4 pillars..
this was out with gek and squid on 14thsept,slacking at one fullerton:
one of squid's monsters, doesnt gek look like it?? XD:
this is where i flip out and say: OMF!! I LOOK LIKE A GUY!! A FUCKING EMO DUDE IF MY HAIR WAS SHORTER AND I DIDNT HAVE BOOBS!!:
squid miester with her own creation:
part of the mess on squid's table when i crashed there cuz i didnt wanna go home:
5:27 PM