i guess ive always been afraid of life..

afriad of trippin over something
afriad of admittin my weaknesses
afriad of making mistakes
afriad of the dark
afriad of being unloved

but right now..im afriad of being loved
there seems to be more problems in a relationship because of me
or am i just psycoing myself into thinking that way..

im a 16 and 9 mnths teen with a plumpish body with skin probs such as massive pimple break out and eye bags and chapped lips..thick legs..fat tummy and nails that looked cut in a rush..muscles at the wrong places and non existing eyebrows
what im proud of is my skin that happens to be naturally smooth,super skinny wrists and originality/spontaneousness XD

yes sometimes i do wanna b the picture perfect model-like girls in the mag or be girl living in NJ with parents that allow me to dye my hair n let me get away with a small scolding when i get facial piercingS..sometimes i wish i was born with natural beauty and that my eyesight was perfect..i wish i was super talented like hayley frm paramore or adam from TBS or brandon from incubus..i wish i could have super high metabolism rates and therefore wont put on weight so easily...I WISH I COULD SCREAM 'I NEED TO GAIN WEIGHT'

but we gain some we lose some in life..and flaws make us beautiful..i know my inner beauty screams and projects much further than what people see but sometimes i wanna be what i project in my mind...perfectly beautiful...


i know u feel the same way i do..everyone's been/are gg thru it now...
[so this is what we're up against]