im sick of feelin this way
i know
i'll get over it and i tell a ton of ppl that im over it
no..im nt
i just lied to myself again...and im becoming a cynic..soon ppl with turn away from me and life now in its somewhat close to pristine state..will b lost..

so yes

i do want that feeling of having a companion
friends can only do so much
sure they help and care and show so much love for u
but they dont LOVE u in that way

i juz hate the way i am..chubby,unkempt haired,less than average looking kid

17 and deadly..
cynical and wanting more
but what exactly do i want

mayb im just tired but ive been this way since day 1
arms aching and back breaking..
eyes droping and dry..sleep

i just wan that someone
then sleep
won have its ugly head reared in my direction